72 comments on “RPG Rabbit Explains How to Win that First Asshole Blitzball Game Against Those Asshat Luca Goers

  1. THANK YOU. REALLY. REALLY REALLY.

    Seriously, i am replaying ffx in its hd remaster glory, and couldn’t bring myself to let the asshats beat Wakka and his gang. Your guide worked like a charm. Cheers!

      • This game is so rigged, hey look your highest shooter in the first half has only around a 10sh, and their goalie has a 8 catch, but then on the other side your goalie has a -5- catch, and their highest shooter can score from half fucking field. *rage*

      • It’s rigged for plot reasons, but the experience is too annoying, tedious, and frustrating for anyone to care about those reasons.

  2. You forgot to mention that it is extremely hard to actually do this. It’s practically impossible to get the ball from the Goers once they have it, and whenever I had it, they’d just follow me all the way to the goal, so I was pretty much helping them attack… And when I finally did manage to hide, they came to get me, not once, not twice, but three freaking times… After multiple attempts, I decided that my hatred of blitzball exceeds my hatred for the Asshats, so I gave up. But on the plus side, the best I’ve managed before was a 2-0 defeat, and this time I lost 1-0 on overtime, so…! I’d say it is a succesfull strategy, I am just too shittily unlucky for it.

    • Oh, I’ll admit it – it’s tricky to do. I suspect the developers made it difficult on purpose, because it makes more narrative sense for the Arouchs to suck so much. It usually takes me two or three tries to successfully execute this strategy myself. And let’s be honest – there’s not a lot of benefit for beating that first game against the Goers, especially considering how difficult it is. I’m still grumpy that they didn’t make that a PlayStation Trophy on the HD re-release! What a wasted opportunity. If the strategy doesn’t work for you after a few tries, a +4 Strength sphere is not worth the headache.

      • Very good, or else very lucky, and in RPGs, I’m not certain that the distinction always matters. I’m glad the strategy worked for you! Kick some Goer ass!

  3. Well, I tried it, but unfortunately, I forgot that Tidus can’t pass very well, so any pass that ranges a little over a few meters results in the team fumbling the ball. With Abus, his 13 shooting, against Keepa, that useless sack of shit’s 5 catching, this isn’t gonna work too well. Funny, back in the PS2 version, Graav (the overpowered guy that steals the ball 100% of the time) scored, and I came back to be the Goers 4-1. Anyway, I still can’t beat these asshats, and 90% of the time, it’s because the shooting mechanics don’t even add up. Tidus uses the Jecht Shot, and Raudy (Luca Asshat’s keeper) catches the ball despite having lower catching than Tidus’ shooting. But when Keepa, his 5 catching tries to catch a shot with 2 SH left, it goes in. I swear, this sack of shit is going out the moment Nimrook is free.

    • I feel you, brother. Keepa sucks THE MOST. Like why is he even on the team? And why is he the goalie? To my mind, wouldn’t you’d really want someone who DIDN’T suck to be your goalie? Was Wakka just like, “Yo, Keppa, you’re the fattest, so you’re gonna be the goalie, ya?”

      • Well, I’ve finally succeeded. I incorporated your strategy, and in the first half, I got lucky, as I spotted an opening and used Datto to force my way in to score. In the second half, the Goers got the ball and scored from long range (thanks Keepa). I managed to mess around till extra time, and finally, I used Wakka, and avoided Graav, then scored with the Venom Shot to win in overtime. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I’m damned happy I did it.

  4. Thanks to RPG Rabbit’s guide, I managed to win this plot game, and honestly, Blitzball becomes a breeze once you finish the plot game (the only reason why I worked so hard to win was because I couldn’t stand the Goers, especially Bickson) and sign good players. Get rid of that useless fatass Keepa, and sign Wedge, who’s guarding the stadium with Biggs. He’s standing on the right. Next, go sign Zev Ronso from the docks. Go to the right from the stadium. Look for Miyu in Luca as well, and you’re set for most of Wakka’s stuff. I’ve acquired all of Wakka’s stuff, and I’ve played about 49 Blitzball games (his stuff appear as league or tournament prizes) and I’ve only lost 1. Most of my wins come by huge margins, 4-0, 5-0, even 8-0. Honestly, to make Blitzball end quickly, simply use Tidus and spam his Jecht Shot in the first half, then use RPG Rabbit’s strategy to run the clock down while you sit back and relax. It’s tedious, but not as tedious as trying to achieve certain other objectives for other characters (*cough* 0 seconds *cough*).

      • Yup. Anyway, will you be guiding the community on the other aggravating mini games as well? Final Fantasy X is a masterpiece, but forcing players to play the damn mini games for the Celestial (though game breaking) weapons is so annoying. It’s like Square is telling us: “Oh you wanna be overpowered? Well f*** you go play our mini games you nerdy mofo”.

      • Sadly, I haven’t found any other exploits for the other minigames other than get a bottle of wine and drink it while repeatedly engaging in the same, shitty, repetitive gameplay until you are randomly lucky enough to accomplish your goals.

  5. thanks for the advice. i beat the faggot a%# goers. i did what you did but i let use the jecht shot first part of second round. then i pass 2 wakka and hid by the goalie till time up.

  6. OMG it worked! Thank you so much…..it only took about 5 shots at it but at least it worked lol, never won this damned game before, just want to do it once at least.

    P.S. I do realise this post is quite old.
    P.P.S Don’t you think you should be able to save it at halftime if you want?

    • Glad it worked for you!

      Yes, it would be great if they let you save at halftime, but that seems far too logical a decision for the developers who thought that blitzball was a good idea in the first place.

      Also, while this is a very old post, it’s actually the post that typically brings people to my blog, as I seem to have one of the few viable blizball strategies available on the web. How ironic that I am most famous for something that instills within me so much nerd rage.

  7. This is so brutal. If I don’t get lucky and get the ball during blitz off then they score and I have to reset. And you gotta get the ball during three blitzoffs. I’m a perfectionist too so I refuse to give up. Thanks for posting this strategy though none the less. I’m sure sooner or later I’ll get lucky and it’ll work.

    • Yeah, even with the strategy, it is a pain in the fucking ass. I haven’t managed to find a better strategy yet, though. I feel like SquareSoft was just messing with the players to make it theoretically possible to beat the goddamn Goers at all, especially given that the reward is relatively paltry. The least Sony could have done was assign a cool PSN Trophy to the achievement!

      Good luck!

      • Hahah dude you’re telling me. Just when I was about to throw my fucking controller against the wall after losing 1-2 I managed to do it. I crazy enough got off Tiduss jecht shot early on by pure luck which is how I had the 1-2 game. But now finally I just got it with wakkas venom shoot. Thanks for your amazing guide. It really is dumb there isn’t a trophy for this like you said.

        Fuck you Luca goers! Lol

  8. As non-dickish as I can sound, this match is easily won by experience. Sure, the first few go-arounds – no pun intended – might be difficult, but you can easily 4-0 or 5-0 these guys with a pretty simple strategy. The main shithat you want to watch out for on the goers is Graav. He’s the Goers’ midfielder that apparently can’t make up his fucking mind about which position he wants to play, because he’s got a pretty even stat spread that puts him at the top of the Asshat roster. Despite his overloaded stats, however, he’s got a pretty shit-tacular AI.

    Here’s how you can expect Graav to play. Whenever Graav receives the initial ball toss:

    > He will swim straight forward, break Tidus and Letty, and pass through Datto to Bickson (the former of which only has 2 BL). Bickson will break Botta – and assuming he survives the tackle – will shoot immediately afterwards, scoring a goal against the might-as-well-be-nobody Keepa.

    HOWEVER. During each half of the game, if the Aurochs score a goal, Graav’s AI permanently changes and he will favor the left field for the rest of that half, in which he will instead pass to Abus. This makes him a far easier sell, as Jassu and Letty will hound him on this side, both of which easily have more AT and EN than Botta and Datto. The only real issue is intercepting the ball with either one of them, only for Graav to steal it right back.

    If, apon starting a new half (or transitioning to Wakka), the Aurochs have MORE points than the goers, Graav gets a little pissed. He will charge straight through your front Defense and try to make a shot in, against all odds. Sometimes he may even point-blank a shot with three defenders without breaking anybody. Jassu, Letty, and Botta all have five block, so not much to worry about, even if Bickson gets the ball off a fumble.

    So what do you do? The second the game starts, set your team to Mark Right. You can’t stop Graav from passing to Bickson because the motherfucker’s made of pig fat and iron, but you can force your midfielder and two backliners to immediately cover Keepa’s ass and stop Bickson the Almighty from scoring with his dickishly-high 14 SH.

    If the shot isn’t stopped completely, it won’t be far behind. Pray that Keepa doesn’t fumble. He’ll almost always pass to Letty if he catches it, which can be good or bad depending on where Graav is. Graav has equal AT to Letty’s EN, and that goes up to a solid 11 if Graav decides to Venom Tackle. Basically, stay away from Graav. Not even Datto, the character with the highest EN on your team, can consistently survive tackles from this guy.

    While you have control of the ball, you have two options. Either:
    A) Pass the ball to Datto. Break through every Goer he comes across, one at a time, while swimming towards the goal. Pass to Tidus when he’s close, and make your shot.

    B) Pass the ball to Letty. Have Letty lure around other members of the goers, breaking Bickson and Abus to get them behind you. If done correctly, the Goers’ front Defense should be too far past to stop an advance from Tidus. Pass the ball across the field (it’ll make it, trust me) and sink one in. You’ll almost always get a goal if you’re point-blank or similar.

    Once you score a goal, you can set your Mark mode back to Normal. Graav will begin swimming straight towards Tidus and Jassu, and will usually attempt to make a goal himself. He’s only got 8 SH, so it’s nothing too scary, but he’s fast and made of bricks, so it might be hard to stop him from point-blanking.

    The first half of the game should be where you score the bulk of your points against the goers. 2 is alright, 3 is great. Set Daddy Issues up with Jecht Shot, and set Letty up with Venom Pass if he gained enough experience. At this point you basically want to stall for time. Pass the ball long distances and play keepaway with the goers, breaking whoever possible. If you can get the ball to Tidus, do it. Swim towards the goal and try to keep less than 3 people tailing you. Once you’re in shot range, you should only have 3 players at MOST defending. Break the first, Jecht Shot the rest. If you manage to score this extra point, sit back and relax. Once 2:30 hits you get Jack Ruby himself back on the field, whose stats rival that of Bickson the Almighty, flaunting 14 SH, 11 EN and access to Venom Shot. He’s a step above Tidus for now, but it’s entirely likely that the Goers are going to maintain control of the ball for the rest of the game. If you get the ball, you can wait it out to play it safe, or go for gold and top yourself off with another point by point-blanking a Venom Shot. It’s your call.

    • This is an IMPRESSIVELY detailed analysis, sir! Hopefully irritated blizball players the world over will be edified by your strategies as well!

    • Random clicked to here out of curiousity when I was searching for some reminders after not playing for a few years. Don’t think I ever lost this match after the first time and this is a good decription as to why ^^
      My method has similar reasoning but is a little different – you can switch daddy-issues to the other side of the field at half time, allowing for goals without having to worry about getting bricked – that way both by Tidus, and Wakka when he gets on the field, have zero trouble(as long as Graav doesn’t get close) getting close enough to score (with or without skills).

      So for those having trouble, either follow Backwardskey’s advice above, or play keep away for the first half (try to get a few passes in by/to tidus for enough xp for either sphere shot or jecht shot) then switch your forwards around and go ham 🙂

    • This is by far, the BEST, description of this mess they call Blitzball Game 1. Thank you for this.

  9. Your post is incorrect.

    ” Wakka’s pre-equipped ability, Sphere Shot, is a pretty good ability.”

    He has Venom Shot.

    Ps. Your strategy is absolute garbage. Dumbest way I’ve ever heard. The first match is one of the easiest.

    • Sorry you didn’t find it useful. A lot of other people find the game pretty tricky.

      Thanks for the correction, though! I didn’t catch that!

    • You’re dumb – Are you serious? Lol nah you’re trolling. To call the first match one of the easiest is absolute bullshit. The first match is the hardest. In fact it’s the only hard one. After it you can get crazy ballers like Brother, Nimrook, etc. I’ve just done over 30 games to get Wakkas weapon and I never got scored against one single time. Compared to the insane frustratation of the first match. Everyone who’s played this except you apparently would agree the first is broken and it’s broken for plot reasons. But go head and be a dickhead who’s surely trolling. You can’t be this stupid. Then again you named yourself “You’re dumb”.

    • Yes, I’m sure it would be easy for someone like you; you who clearly has only played FFX and nothing else throughout the entirety of his life.
      Blitzball is bad. Objectively and mechanically bad. It was a good concept, and it could have been awesome. But it’s not.
      Now quit lying to yourself and others.

      • Even if it was easy for him to say the first match is the easiest is simply factually not true. It’s in fact one of the hardest. If not the hardest. He’s just trolling.

  10. I need to try this strategy when I’m less pissed off. I saw the “hide behind the goalie” trick somewhere else and tried using it, except the Goer followed me into the goal and stole the ball.
    And then in the second half I got Tidus to do the Jecht Shot, but the goalie freaking blocked it. I thought that shit was fullproof! Meanwhile, the Goers are having a grand ol’ time scoring points from across the field because my goalie has no fucking clue what game he’s playing.

    • Ah, the frustrating bullshit that is blitzball.

      The Goers DO occasionally follow you behind the goalie, which is irritating as hell. Using Tidus can increase your chance of success, because his endurance is high enough to take a beating without losing the ball.

      The Jecht Shot, alas, is not fullproof, particularly against such a strong goalie, but it certainly helps.

  11. last time i’m gonne try this, i just dont have the patience for it… first time i lost with 2-0 without your strategy, 2nd time i used your strategy perfectly untill wakka game in to the game, then those fckers got the ball and just wouldnt let it drop so they beat me with 1-0, and 3th time was exactly the same… i’m almost going hulk on my controller right now…

    • Sadly, even this strategy takes some luck to pull off. I’ve only managed to beat those stupid Goers on the first try once, and I have played this game several times.

      Good luck!

  12. last time i’m gonne try this, i just dont have the patience for it… first time i lost with 2-0 without your strategy, 2nd time i used your strategy perfectly untill wakka game in to the game, then those fckers got the ball and just wouldnt let it drop so they beat me with 1-0, and 3th time was exactly the same… i’m almost going hulk on my controller right now…

  13. I got somehow infront OF the goers goal.. surrounded by those idiots did the Jecht Shot and failed to make a goal.. the Fans wanted more action..!? dafuq !? I performed a blitzball move.. didn’t came through and those are wanting more… fuck Blitzball!

  14. I actually love blitzball. The first match is a doozy though. But once you start doing it properly then it becomes a lot of fun. And the first match is doable by doing it properly. It’s just a bit difficult.

    • I knew there must be SOMEONE who likes this game! Good on you!

      I will admit that I kind of started to enjoy it…once I started winning all the time because I was using this exploit, so maybe that doesn’t count. Honestly, my favorite part of Blitzball was recruiting players from all over Spira.

      • Recruitment definitely is fun. When i played FF X like a decade ago i just stuck with the original team. Teaching them skills and training them is fun. I”m now replaying it on vita and i’m definitely going to be recruiting other players this time around.

  15. I messed up the earlier sequence in the game to get the Jecht shot and I don’t remember if I kept a save-spot before that.
    1. Do I NEED the Jecht-shot to win blitzball games and get Wakka his ultimate weapon?
    2. By not getting the Jecht shot do I miss out on a PS trophy?

    Thanks,

    • That Jecht shot REALLY makes things a lot easier. I don’t know that you NEED it to win games, but it’s going to be a way bigger pain in the ass.

      There is a bronze trophy awarded for learning the move, though. I think it’s the Striker trophy.

      • Dammit, dammit dammit. Now I have to decide if I want to just play through the game all loosey goosey like or start over and print out a trophy guide. I’m a completionist so either way I’ll be 100%’ing this one. Thanks for your response!

      • If you want to 100% this, playing enough Blitzball to get Wakka’s ultimate weapon will be such a pain in the ass without the Jecht shot. And the damn thing is so easy to miss!

  16. First off I totally agree, fuck blitzball, fuck those smug shit Luca asshats, and fuck that useless douchebag “goalie” keepa. I read other strategies and got destroyed 4-0. I found this and it took a few tries but I finally won, and on my failed attempts I only lost by a point. This is so much easier than trying to get a team of level 1 losers to beat a team you are obviously supposed to lose to. Thanks for sharing a simple way to accomplish one of the hardest tasks in final fantasy, pretty sure ozma was easier than blitzball.

  17. So I’ve been trying to beat this flaming cock STI’s and been failing for well over 3 hours. I have literally done the biggest rage quit EVER (and I use to play Jade Cocoon) and will definitely try this guide tomorrow. Oh and yes I typed into google “fucking luca goers” and found you 😀 haha

    • Most of the search keys with which I tagged this blog post were the things that I yelled at my television while trying to beat the Goddamn Luca Fucking Goers.

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