Some spoilers follow. You have been warned.
Oh, Lord DeRosso. You passive-aggressive asshat.
At the end of Chapter 4 in Bravely Default, a new and exciting sidequest appears! A mysterious vampire castle, with a mighty door locked by six elemental keystones. I had been completing sidequests as they became available for the entire game, because I like collecting job asterisks, but as soon as I tried to defeat one of the elemental dragons guarding the keystones, I got my ass handed to me on a silver platter. Luckily, Chapter 5 offers ample opportunity to level your party, so by the time I neared the end of the chapter, I managed to defeat all six dragons and the seven floors of the vampire castle.
Only to have Lord DeRosso wipe out my entire party over and over. And over. AND OVER.
I figured I was underleveled, since my party was right around level 61 (except Ringabel, who apparently has a sign taped to his back that I can’t see that says “HAY MONSTERS I AM DELICIOUS,” since he dies consistently more often than the other characters, and was only level 60). But man, I did NOT feel like grinding. So I went online to see if anyone had come up with any clever exploits.
Lo and behold, the internet did not disappoint me. Fellow blogger Rico Penguin posted an excellent strategy that I found extremely effective. Basically, you use a party of four Level 5 Ninjas using Utsusemi every turn, each equipped with the support abilities Transience and Comeback Kid. Using this strategy, Lord DeRosso will not be able to hit you. It’s awesome. He uses his quadruple assrape Energy Burst, and MISSES EVERYONE. It made me cackle with glee.
Utsusemi keeps DeRosso from landing physical attacks on your party, but does nothing against magic. However, if you have at least one character at critical health, DeRosso will not use his single magic attack, Gravaja.
The one problem with this strategy is that it takes FOREVER. Transience allows for counterattacks upon evasion of a physical attack, but ONLY if the evaded attack was a single-target attack. Since DeRosso uses area attacks most of the time, this fight would probably take hours if Transience was your only damage dealt. To give your characters some extra chances to deal damage between the constant casting of Utsusemi, Rico suggests equipping the Turn Tables support ability that you get from the Level 4 Red Mage. This ability nets you 1 BP every time you evade an attack. Tiz and Ringabel were the only characters I had with that ability available, but even with only the two of them with extra attacks available for ass-kicking, I managed to beat DeRosso in under an hour. It helped that Ringabel was the character I kept at critical HP. I had maxed him out as a Dark Knight, and his Minus Strike, an ability learned at Level 6 that deals the user’s missing HP as damage, was able to deal over 2900 damage a turn. Tiz used Hasteaga periodically to ensure that my party could always Utsusemi before Derosso had a chance to go. After about 45 minutes, VICTORY WAS MINE.
Eat your heart out, Lester DeRosso. Literally. ‘Cause you’re a vampire, and vampires roll like that.
UPDATE: Wait, girl vampires have bunny ears?
Not that I am complaining, mind you, because BUNNIEEEEEES, but what about “bunny ears” equated to “vampires” in the minds of the developers? Also belts. Lots of belts. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t be reading so much into this, as the Arcanist costume involves a fox tail for…reasons, and the female valkyries wear a dress made of spears.
So I will just enjoy my BUNNY EARS! Squee!